Jimmy and Morgan Freeman suck helium out of balloons as they finish their interview!
They didn’t find him for a week.
reblogging because i headcanoned that they only found him because Tony happened to be flying that way and was like “that’s a freaking huge bird nesting in th- WHAT THE HECK CLINT? GUYS I FOUND CLINT!”
Heck, I’m reblogging because that is an adorable expression. “They’ll never find me… This is my own private glow-y nest.”
judging by fan fictions, the only jobs in the world are being a teacher, lawyer, waiter, or working at a coffee shop
and man do the people with those jobs have a lot of sex
After 77 years of marriage, a 99-year-old man divorced his 96-year-old wife. He had recently discovered that she had an affair in the 1940’s.
REALLY just wanna take this chance to remind the people who follow me to not kill/trap opossums if they’re in your yard, and do not call animal control! Seriously.
- Opossums are literally 100% BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE of carrying rabies. Their body temperature is too cool to incubate it properly.
- Opossums are actually quite gentle and NOCTURNAL, so if they’re roaming, they’ve probably gotten lost, been injured, and are looking for a place to hide.
- Young opossums tend to try to climb into garbage cans when they’re starving. This is because THEY ARE LITERALLY STARVING. Don’t fucking shoot them or hit them with things because you wanna be some fucking macho top-of-the-food-chain cocksucker.
- Mama possums are amazing mothers and if you encounter an “aggressive” opossum, it’s probably because she’s got babies hanging off her nipple and she’s freaking out. They’re clumsy. Sometimes they don’t hear you coming and you catch each other off guard.
- Wanna lure an opossum off of your property? You can set up a box with some greens and cat kibble in it, hide it well, and lure them out that way. They’re actually quite harmless and keep other predators away. they eat lotsa gross stuff.
- Opossum mamas who get hit by cars often still have their helpless babies attached to them. Possums get a bad rep and people say they are “the dumbest animal”, but they are incredible creatures who have been around since the days of fucking dinosaurs so treat them well, okay?
More important facts about opossums:
1. Opossums, like cats, are meticulous groomers, resulting in them being one of the top predators for ticks in the wild. This make them an important deterrent in the spread of lyme disease.
2. The act of “playing dead” is not a conscious decision on the part of the opossum, but a defense mechanism that automatically activates when the animal is panicked. It might seem funny to you to see an opossum flop over, but you’re literally scaring them into fainting when you startle them, and potentially leaving them vulnerable to carrion eaters, so DON’T DO IT.
3. Opossums are not naturally aggressive, and will usually only bite as an absolute last resort if they feel cornered. They will hiss and drool and try to seem as intimidating as possible, but this is just an act, as opossums are terrible at physically defending themselves. Your dog is not in danger of being hurt by the “mean ol’ possum” because that fight is ALWAYS in the dog’s favor.
4. If you have to pick up an adult opossum, please don’t do it by the tail. It’s fine for babies and juveniles to hang from them, but as they get older, their bodies become too heavy and it puts a lot of strain on their muscles to be carried by the tail. You wouldn’t pick up a cat by their tail, so don’t pick up a possum that way either.
These are good facts but I’m mostly reblogging because that opossum is adorable.
Manueluv and I are convinced Agent K is Coulson’s father. Hell, MIB is even owned by Marvel.
Welp. Never gonna unsee this.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED SO FAST I THINK I BROKE SOMETHING
Guys - who do you think told Phil all those stories about Cap?
THIS POST IS OVER 2 YEARS OLD AND IT JUST. GOT. BETTER.
When I said that your legs would look damn good on my shoulders it’s not exactly what I meant, y’know…
I just died.
The mysterious sparkling butt.